


I know you're choking on your fears (already told you I'm right here)

by breakthesewallsdown



Category: Green Arrow and the Canaries (TV), dinahsiren
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dinahsiren Week, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Vigilante!Laurel, dinahsiren - Freeform, soft, someone got hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:15:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24457294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakthesewallsdown/pseuds/breakthesewallsdown
Summary: Dinah glares at her, “It shouldn’t have to be you.”“Then who else?”“I don’t know,” Dinah admits. “Just not you.”Laurel shifts when Dinah finishes up. “Why not?”Getting back on her feet, Dinah turns away from Laurel. She goes to throw away her trash in the bin in the kitchen, buying herself some time to answer Laurel’s question.orthe one where laurel is a vigilante, dinah is a nurse and to top it all of they're also in love.
Relationships: Dinah Drake & Earth-2 Laurel Lance, Dinah Drake/Earth-2 Laurel Lance
Comments: 4
Kudos: 59





	I know you're choking on your fears (already told you I'm right here)

**Author's Note:**

> i am, again, a day late!! my apologies. my brain is fried it needed a break.
> 
> anyways i hope you'll all love this dinahsiren week fic! the prompt was "first responders" but instead of doing the logical thing and having the setting of this fic in a hospital i gave it my own little twist. as i always do. 
> 
> as usual, this is unedited and unbeta'd.
> 
> enjoy reading <3 
> 
> • title from Be Kind by Marshmello ft Halsey

Dinah wakes up from a knock on her door. 

She glances at the clock on her nightstand and sighs when she sees the time. 1:43 AM. She thinks she must’ve imagined the sound and goes to close her eyes again, but then the knock is back. Louder this time. More urgent. 

Swinging her legs out of bed, Dinah rubs her eyes and yawns. She doesn’t know why anyone would come knocking on her door at two in the morning, but she figures it must be important if they won’t go away. She drags her feet through the hallway of her apartment and sighs as she reaches her front door, just in time for another knock. 

Dinah unlocks the door and pulls it open, not expecting the person standing in front of her in the slightest. 

“Laurel.” 

She looks distraught. There’s blood on her cheeks and tears in her eyes and her suit is ripped. She’s gripping her stomach, knuckles white from the pressure she’s putting on her it. Dinah frowns and immediately takes a step aside, tilting her head to tell Laurel to come in. She stumbles past Dinah and the latter immediately reaches out to steady her. 

Dinah keeps her hands on Laurel’s hips as she leads her to the couch. Laurel doesn’t say a word, just sits down and hisses when Dinah goes to inspect her wound. 

God, she hates it when Laurel goes out there. She figured out Laurel’s the Black Canary a few years ago and she’s hated it ever since. Dinah remembers when they first met. Laurel had come into the hospital injured from a car accident and Dinah had been the one to take care of her the whole time she had to stay in the hospital. 

When Laurel got discharged she thought that was going to be it. But then Laurel had come by a couple times when Dinah was working and they grew closer. And then Laurel had come by injured afterwards, not wanting to tell Dinah where she got hurt. It wasn’t hard for her to put two and two together after that. 

Dinah thinks that there’s no coincidence about them meeting. She thinks it was meant to be. 

“I’m going to need to take this off,” Dinah says gently, her hands reaching for the zipper on Laurel’s suit. 

Laurel groans and rolls her eyes but doesn’t move as Dinah works to take her top off. It’s leather and it’s annoying, because it’s sticking to Laurel’s skin, but she makes it work. Laurel hisses when Dinah pulls it off her body, leaving her in just a tank top and her pants. Dinah can feel Laurel’s gaze on her face, burning a hole into her temple, and she knows why Laurel’s looking at her like that. She knows. 

But she’s too scared to address it. 

So she keeps working on getting to Laurel’s injury. Her hands reach for the hem of Laurel’s top and when Laurel moves enough for Dinah to take it off, Dinah gently lifts it over her head. Laurel’s eyes never leave her, following her every move. Dinah feels nervous. 

“I’ll be right back. I need to clean this up.” 

Without waiting for Laurel to say anything, Dinah makes her way towards the bathroom to get her first aid kid and a wet cloth. She can’t believe Laurel got injured again. She can’t believe Laurel is still going out there, still putting herself in danger. It scares Dinah more than she’d like to admit and the thought that she might lose Laurel because she wasn’t careful enough… It sends a shiver down her spine. She doesn’t know what she’d do if she lost Laurel. 

As she makes her way back towards the living room, Dinah takes a deep breath to herself. She can do this. She can pretend that everything’s fine. She’ll just patch her up and then Laurel will leave and nothing will have changed. It never does. 

Laurel is looking at her when she gets back. She’s not surprised. There’s a wistful look in Laurel’s eyes and Dinah hates seeing it. She averts her gaze and forces herself to look at Laurel’s wound, her hands tightening around her first aid kit. 

It’s not too bad, not too deep. Shouldn’t need stitches, but still. Dinah kneels down in front of Laurel on the couch, never once meeting her gaze. She dabs the wet cloth onto Laurel’s skin, cleaning the blood off so she can take a proper look at the cut on her abdomen. Laurel’s hands are stiff next to her on the couch, balled into fists. The silence hanging between them is tense and filled with unsaid words and Dinah just hates it. 

Her hands are trembling just slightly and she blames it on the lack of sleep, instead of Laurel’s proximity. She works on Laurel’s injury in silence, the only sound in the room the ticking of the clock on the wall and cars passing by outside. 

Dinah can see Laurel’s hand move out of the corner of her eye. The movement is slow and deliberate and, honestly, she should've been expecting what happens next. 

Laurel’s hand comes to rest on Dinah’s that currently holding the gauze to put over her wound. Dinah stops what she’s doing and lets her hand rest there, Laurel’s hand feeling heavy on her own. If only Laurel would let her get this over with so they could both go on with what they were doing. 

“You’ve been avoiding me.” 

Laurel’s voice is quiet when she speaks, almost as if she doesn’t have it in her to talk. Dinah glances up at her, to check if maybe she’s about to pass out. But Laurel’s gaze is piercing back at her. She seems more awake than ever. 

Dinah doesn’t know what to say. She knows she’s been avoiding Laurel. Ever since they kissed the other week she doesn’t know what to do with herself. Because, yes, she can admit that she has feelings for Laurel. And obviously Laurel at least feels something for her as well. But Dinah just doesn’t know if she can give herself to Laurel if all that will end up happening is Dinah losing her. 

So she doesn’t say anything. She just keeps working on cleaning Laurel up. Laurel’s hand moves from on top of hers to her arm and she squeezes. It pauses Dinah’s movements, but not for long. She just wishes Laurel would let her do this. 

“Dinah,” Laurel says, “Talk to me.” 

Dinah does look at her now. She’s annoyed and she’s tired and she just wants to get this over with. Laurel seems to be a bit taken aback by the look in her eyes, because she shuts her mouth and the fire seems to dissipate from her eyes. 

“It’s two in the morning, Laurel.” Dinah hisses, “You showed up here at two in the morning, injured, again, and you’re asking me to talk?” 

“I didn’t know where else to go.” 

Dinah can’t help her heart skipping a beat at those words. She knows that what they have is unique and it’s special and it’s real, but she just wishes Laurel would stop putting herself in danger every night. She hates going to sleep every night and not knowing if she’s going to hear from Laurel in the morning. 

“You need to stop putting yourself in danger.” Dinah mutters, going back to work. 

She’s almost ready and she wishes she wasn’t. Because she knows as soon as she’s ready that Laurel is going to make a run for it. She’s going to get out of here and pretend everything is fine and go back out there. Dinah thinks about stalling her. It probably wouldn’t work. 

“Someone has to do it, D.” 

Dinah glares at her, “It shouldn’t have to be you.” 

“Then who else?” 

She doesn’t know what to reply to that. Dinah doesn’t think anyone should have to do it. She just wishes the world could be a safe place and no one had to put themselves in danger for anybody else. But the world isn’t safe and Laurel is too good of a person to not help others. Dinah wishes she’d look after herself more. 

“I don’t know,” Dinah admits. “Just not you.” 

Laurel shifts when Dinah finishes up. “Why not?” 

Getting back on her feet, Dinah turns away from Laurel. She goes to throw away her trash in the bin in the kitchen, buying herself some time to answer Laurel’s question. What she doesn’t expect is to hear soft footsteps behind her, following her into the kitchen. Laurel’s breath is heavy, as if it’s taking a lot of her to walk, and Dinah spins around. 

“You need to sit down.” 

Laurel raises her eyebrow at her, only coming to a stop when she’s standing right in front of Dinah. Her stare is harsh and penetrating and it makes Dinah incredibly nervous. 

“Why not?” She repeats. 

The way she asks it indicates that she knows exactly what’s going on, that she realizes why Dinah doesn’t want her to go out there. It only pisses Dinah off more. As if she’s doing it to just torture Dinah, to make her suffer. 

“You know why, Laurel.” Dinah says, turning around again to make her way to the trash can, “You don’t need me to spell it out for you.” 

Once she’s done, Dinah turns towards Laurel again only to find her standing right in front of her, almost pinning her against the counter. Dinah’s breath hitches in her throat at how close Laurel is to her. She tries her best to not look at Laurel’s exposed skin. She tries her best to not stare.

Dinah knows it takes a lot of energy from her to stand up straight without anything holding her up. She can tell by the way Laurel’s breath is getting heavier and her body is trembling, yet she refuses to back down. Dinah just wishes Laurel would listen to her for once. 

“We kissed, Dinah,” Laurel breathes, eyes dropping to Dinah’s lips, “And you’ve been avoiding me.” 

Dinah swallows heavily. She never thought her night would end like this. With Laurel nearly pressed up against her, half naked and injured.

“That’s got nothing to do with it.” 

“Doesn’t it?” Laurel asks. It almost feels like a challenge. 

“No.” Dinah mutters. “And I’ve not been avoiding you. I’ve been busy.” 

Laurel takes another step closer, now properly pushing Dinah back against the counter. Their hips are touching and Dinah can feel Laurel’s bare chest heaving against hers. She’s pretty sure Laurel is about to collapse any moment now and if she doesn’t do something soon it won’t be pretty. 

“Busy.” Laurel repeats, clearly not believing her. “I bet.” 

Deciding this isn’t the time nor place to have this conversation, Dinah reaches for Laurel’s hips to push her back a little and to steady her. Laurel doesn’t seem to get the hint, because she pushes Dinah backwards again, not letting her move. 

“Laurel. Please.” Dinah asks, nearly begs, “You need to sit down. You’re hurt.” 

“I’m fine.” 

Dinah shakes her head, her hands still on Laurel’s hips as she’s pressed against the counter behind her. Laurel feels warm and solid against her and for a second she forgets that she’s been avoiding Laurel and things are complicated. It just feels so nice to hold her. 

“You’re not fine. You need rest.” 

Laurel rolls her eyes. “What I need is for you to talk to me.” 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Dinah mutters, realizing she’s got nowhere to run to. “We kissed. So what?” 

There’s a frown on Laurel’s face then and Dinah immediately feels bad. This isn’t going how she wants it to go and she feels like she’s about to ruin it all. So when Laurel pushes herself away from her, Dinah immediately feels worse. 

“You’re right.” Laurel snaps. “So what.” 

She turns around to walk back towards the living room, leaving Dinah stunned. Laurel is giving her whiplash and she doesn’t know what to do. But then Laurel stumbles towards the couch and almost trips on her way and it only takes two seconds for Dinah to be by her side. She steadies Laurel by her hips and goes to help her sit back down, but Laurel pulls herself out of Dinah’s grasp and goes to put her tank top back on.

“What are you doing?” 

Laurel doesn’t look at her when she speaks. “I’m going home. Coming here was a mistake.” 

Dinah’s heart cracks in her chest as she watches Laurel put her top on. Laurel winces when she lifts her arms and Dinah almost reaches out to help her, but she finds herself unable to move. She doesn’t want Laurel to leave. 

“Laurel.” Dinah says, voice soft and careful. 

Laurel turns her head to look at her, her gaze hurt and angry, but she doesn’t say anything. Her top gets stuck somewhere around her sports bra and if things weren’t so tense Dinah would’ve laughed. Laurel just groans as she goes to pull her top down, straightening it once she’s managed to do so. 

It’s only when she reaches for her jacket that Dinah can get her body to move. She reaches for Laurel’s arm and pulls her back towards her. Laurel hisses at the sudden movement, but Dinah doesn’t apologize. 

“Let me go.” Laurel says, voice bordering on threatening. “I’m leaving.” 

“Don’t.” Dinah whispers. “Please.” 

Laurel frowns, eyes spitting fire. “Why not?” 

Dinah’s tired of hearing that question. Laurel’s arm feels heavy in her hand so she drops it, not knowing what she’s doing in the slightest. She’s relieved when Laurel doesn’t move. As if she’s giving her a chance to say something. Anything. The truth. 

But she can’t. The words she wants to stay are stuck in her throat and she can’t get them out. Don’t leave. I want you to stay. I want you. Be with me. Kiss me again. I don’t want you going out there again. I can’t lose you. Kiss me again, please. Dinah can’t get it in her to say them out loud. 

So she just stares at Laurel, eyes wide and scared. She realizes that if she doesn’t say anything, or do anything, that things will only get worse. Laurel will walk out of here and she’ll leave and she won’t come back. Dinah might never see her again. She’s not sure she can handle that. It’s only when she realizes that she’s going to lose Laurel either way that the other woman speaks up and successfully pulls her out of her thoughts. 

“For fucks sake, Dinah!” Laurel exclaims, voice cracking. “Why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you tell me how you feel? Why does everything always have to be so difficult with you?” 

Dinah’s eyes widen at Laurel’s outburst. She doesn’t look angry, just sad and emotional and it’s breaking Dinah’s heart. She realizes that this is difficult for Laurel. She’s never been the kind of person to be open about her feelings, to wear her heart on her sleeve. Dinah knows things are different with her. 

“You’re so full of shit.” Laurel says angrily. “You’re standing there pretending like this doesn’t affect you, like you don’t feel anything. But I know you do,” she takes a step closer and points a finger at Dinah’s chest, “I know you feel something. You just won’t admit it, for some stupid fucking reason. And I’m done with it, Dinah.” 

Dinah doesn’t know what that means, but she doesn’t have to wait long for Laurel to go on. 

“I am done waiting for you to make up your mind. You know how I feel about you. You know that I kissed you for a reason. You fucking know it all. Yet you’re going to look at me and pretend it never meant anything?” 

“Laurel,” 

Her voice sounds more like a whisper and it does nothing to calm the fire in Laurel’s chest. Laurel is still glaring at her, finger pressed against her chest, just above her heart. Dinah bets that Laurel can feel it race, can feel it beat against her skin. 

“So tell me, Dinah.” Laurel says, voice hard, “Tell me what it’s gonna be. Because if you don’t I will walk out this door and it’ll be over.” 

Dinah can’t believe this is happening. She can’t believe Laurel is about to walk out on her and never look back. Her heart is racing in her chest, a lump in her throat as she looks at the woman in front of her. She’s so tired of being scared and pushing Laurel away. She just wants to be with her. She’s never felt like this about anyone ever before. So fiercely, so beautifully. 

“Don’t do this, Laurel.” Dinah begs, hands balling into fists at her sides. 

“I have to.” Laurel replies, voice softening, “I can’t do this anymore, D. I need to know where you stand. I’ve given you time, I’ve given you space. I need to know. Please.” 

Dinah knows she’s right. They’ve been dancing around this for a while and Laurel’s always been the one leading. Dinah’s just following, not sure. Never sure. But as she looks at Laurel now she thinks she might be. Finally. 

“You can’t keep expecting me to just wait. I love you, Dinah. I really do.” Laurel says, the fight slowly leaving her body, her injuries catching up with her. “I have been falling for you ever since we met. You have to know that. But I can’t keep sticking around if you’re not going to be there to catch me.”

Dinah has never seen her this vulnerable. It breaks her heart. 

“You love me?” 

Laurel can’t help but roll her eyes. Dinah feels like an idiot. But then Laurel looks at her again, eyes soft and loving and Dinah doesn’t know what to do. Or she does know, but she’s still just scared. 

“I do.” Is all Laurel says then.

Dinah’s body acts before she knows any better of it. Her hands come up to cup Laurel’s cheeks as she pulls her closer, pressing their lips together. Laurel falls into her, hands steadying herself on Dinah’s hips and it only takes a second for Laurel to melt into the kiss. Dinah can feel Laurel move against her, her fingers digging into Dinah’s skin. Dinah can’t help the smile that’s threatening to take over her face. 

But then Laurel pulls back and she sighs, her forehead resting against Dinah’s. “You can’t do that. You can’t just kiss me and hope it’ll make it go away.” 

“I know.” Dinah says, eyes still closed as she holds onto Laurel. “I’m sorry.” 

Laurel pushes herself away from Dinah, leaning back against the couch’s armrest. “I don’t want you to be sorry, Dinah. I just want you to be honest with me.” 

“I’m just scared.” 

Laurel pulls Dinah closer until she comes to stand in between her legs against the couch, arms loosely wrapped around her waist. Dinah leans into her and closes her eyes. This is it. This is the moment and she knows it. It’s now or never. 

“Scared of what?” 

When Dinah opens her eyes again she’s not surprised to find Laurel looking back at her. She seems genuinely interested and it only makes Dinah feel more sure that this is what she’s supposed to be doing. 

“Of losing you.” Dinah admits. “If we’re together and I lost you, I- I don’t think I could cope.” 

“D,” Laurel whispers, hands coming up to hold her face, thumbs stroking her cheeks softly. “I will always come home to you. You know that.” 

“But in what state, Laurel?” Dinah asks, desperate. “Look at you. You’re injured, you can barely stand, let alone walk.” 

“But I’m fine.” Laurel reassures her. “I will be fine. Thanks to you. I promise I’ll be more careful. I promise. But I can’t let the people suffer, Dinah. You know that.” 

“I don’t know what I’d do if something ever happened to you.” 

Laurel leans in to kiss her softly, their lips touching briefly before she pulls back. Dinah chases after her, fingers tangling in Laurel’s hair as she kisses her. Laurel doesn’t stop her. She lets Dinah tug at her hair, she lets Dinah roam her hands over her body, holding her close. She lets Dinah do anything. Just kisses her back and holds her close. 

“Please be more careful.” 

“I will. I promise.” 

Dinah sighs, their noses brushing together softly. “I can’t lose you, Laurel. I love you.” 

She feels, more than hears, Laurel exhale heavily just seconds before she kisses her again. It’s soft and gentle and Dinah suddenly doesn’t know why she was being so difficult about this. 

“I- I think I need to sit down.” Laurel admits then, pained expression on her face. 

“I know you were trying to be brave,” Dinah mutters, hands reaching under Laurel’s thighs to pick her up. “Come on.” 

“What are you doing?” 

“I’m taking you to bed.” 

Laurel smirks down at her as Dinah carries her back towards the bedroom. “Dinah Drake. Buy me dinner first.”

“To sleep, you dumbass.” Dinah says, laughing softly. “You’re injured.” 

Laurel presses a quick kiss to Dinah’s lips as they walk and smiles. “Good thing I’ve got my own nurse to take care of me.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it !!! 
> 
> i love writing angst so much i could do it for every fic. but don't let me please. 
> 
> thank you for reading and feel free to leave a kudo/comment <3 
> 
> take care of yourself!


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